So today I wanted to focus on personal development and how to silence that inner critic. Did you know that About 80% of what holds us up in our businesses and our personal lives is our mindset and we need to learn how to silence our inner critic. All of us have this inner critic whether it’s in business or just in our everyday lives and it’s a complete ass (I couldn’t think of another word without being too expletive, lol ). It blocks creativity, stops us from doing things, crushes relationships and can even damage careers. It’s like an abusive relationship which stops us from following our dreams.
Someone once said, “it’s a collection of fear based words from an insecure bully”, and let’s face it in this day and age bullying is unacceptable so why do we tolerate what we are saying to ourselves
Just imagine standing in front of a stranger, or friend or even a loved one and yelling things at them like …. you’re a failure! You’re not good enough to do that, or you’re an idiot! you look fat, you are looking ugly. You wouldn’t, so why do it to yourself? We walk around with all these toxic messages flying around our heads which create a fear of failure or worse still a fear of success.
So I just want to give you a few different ways to help you silence this inner critic
Do some personal development, whether that be reading self-development books, [and there are plenty of them out there, there’s the likes of Tony Robbins and Mel Robbins, two of my favourites, Brene Brown, Rachel Hollis are good ones to follow too], or possibly doing some personal development courses [again Tony Robbins has some excellent courses, or Deepak Chopra and there are many others available]. Personal development is an ongoing process of self-improvement either in your career, your education, or in your personal life. It is about setting goals for yourself and putting plans in place to reach those goals. The journey of self-improvement is an ongoing process of constant learning. It gives you the opportunity to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses and to work on them.
Saying “Thank You”
Thank you – two simple words with the power to change our entire outlook on life. Saying thank you, is an everyday etiquette and a simple courtesy that takes just a moment, but saying the words ‘thank you‘ is no longer just good manners, they are also beneficial to the inner you. Studies have shown that being grateful can improve our well-being, physical health, and produce positive emotional states and help us cope with stressful times in our lives.
Gratitude is linked to overall greater happiness and an understanding that although some things are out of control, much of what happens in our life is linked to our thoughts, emotions, and our focus.
It is not always about you either, saying the two little words to a person not only changes how an item, service, or words are received, it also changes how it feels to give. You have the power to brighten every person’s day by creating impactful and mindful conversations. Saying thank you, smiling, showing genuine gratitude can change your life and the lives of those you say it to.
Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” – Zig Ziglar
Translate & Rewrite
A lot of times those negative thoughts stem from insecurities that are unmerited. Take the time to actually start taking noticeof the negative thoughts, what you are telling yourself, you’ll find that often times, those criticisms are silly and you will then be able to change. When your inner critic says something negative, write it down, and then rewrite it into a positive.
By this I mean when that critic tells you things like .. you’re going to fail, so don’t even bother even trying, rewrite it, and tell yourself, sure, I may fail but you know what its ok, I’ll learn as well. Failure is the best way to learn. Change those negative words…. another example, “I am exhausted”, change to “I need to recharge” There are so many options available when changing the negative to positive. Get into the habit of being aware of what is being said in your head and changing them till it becomes the norm to think positive thoughts.
Start Today …
When you go into unfamiliar territory your brain translates that into being unsafe, and fear, so you are going to resist. Push past that resistance, just do it, and each time you push through that resistance you will grow, and start to build up that confidence and in turn you will start making that shift in your mind to overcome the fear and quieten that voice.
Even those high achieving entrepreneurs have an inner critic, they’ve just learnt how to become more aware of them and let them go. Are those feelings really serving you right now, No? So shut them down and move on.
Start today, and silence that bully, that inner critic
- Watch your thoughts, they become words.
- Watch your words, they become actions.
- Watch your actions, they become habits.
- Watch your habits, they become your character.
- Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
Negative self-talk does not mean there is something “wrong” with us that needs to be fixed; it is a feature of being human. The nature of our thoughts determines the quality of our life whether it is sad, happy and contented, so lets make a conscious effort to change those negative thoughts, and change our quality of life. Remember, “If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.” Sometimes we all need a little reminder that we’re capable people who can take on whatever life throws at us!
“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” ~ Norman Vincent Peal
If you are mastering the control of your inner critic, I would love to hear your tips on how it works for you …